From my old blog (slightly revised).. something I wrote in 2007. I am still laughing at this.
TRUE POLICE STORY
- based on a true story -
Based on a true incident that happened more than a year ago.
This scene takes place on the road, the main highway leading towards Cheras Leisure Mall. Luke, the main character, is steadily driving in a brown Waja car, turning left at a roundabout. He is talking on his Nokia mobile phone in his right hand, confirming with his friend Magdalene if the supper that night is still on.
Suddenly. a police man on his motorbike flashes his small little tiny blue siren, and waves his hands.. making it look like he is clearing traffic for Osama bin Laden’s limousine to drive through.
Luke understands what it means, and stops at the side, waiting calmly in his car for the police officer to walk over.
Luke smiles, then opens his window. But deep inside his well-built muscular torso, his heart paces as though Osama bin Laden were hiding in his car boot.
The car window is fully wound down. Police officer stands next to the window and bends down.
POLICE:
Bagi IC dengan lesen.
LUKE:
Oh, ok. (smiles and hands over the 2 documents requested)
POLICE:
Hmmm, dari Sabah ni. Mana hemfree? Kenapa tidak pakai?
LUKE:
Huh? What’s that? (giving a look as though he is very uncertain what the police officer is saying)
POLICE:
Hemfree di mana? Kamu cakap talipon tadi kan?
LUKE:
Errr, what? Sorry I don’t understand. (acting innocent)
POLICE:
Tidak faham Bahasa Melayu ke? Pandai speaking sajer?
LUKE:
(keeps quiet, but thinks in his mind ‘no, i not only know how to speaking. I also know how to jumping, laughing, crying, shitting, and dancing too)
POLICE:
Hemfree where?
LUKE:
Hemfree?? Ohhhhh… you mean hands-free? (laughs and smiles)
POLICE:
Ya, hemfree. Why no hemfree?
LUKE:
Not hemfree, hands-free. Got ‘s’. Handsssss-free. (smiling but heart is pounding like 50 basketballs at once)
POLICE:
Ya, hemsfree where?
LUKE:
(smiles innocently). I don’t have my hands-free, sorry.
POLICE:
Kenapa?
LUKE:
What? (raises eyebrows and looks blur)
POLICE:
Why no hemsfree?
LUKE:
I don’t have it. I don’t have a hemsfree. But my hands-free is at home.
POLICE:
Apa? Errr, Cannot speaking phone when you on driving, tau?
LUKE:
Oh, ok. Sorry.
POLICE:
So? How?
LUKE:
Ya, so how?
POLICE:
This must give saman. I give you saman. (takes out a notebook looking thing from his pocket)
LUKE:
Ok.
POLICE:
You want saman?
LUKE:
Errr, no choice right?
POLICE:
You want saman? You don’t use hemsfree driving tadi.
LUKE:
Ok.
POLICE:
How? I give you saman.
LUKE:
Ok. (already reading the police officer’s mind. He wants some money to buy his pirated DVDs later after duty)
POLICE:
You want I give you saman?
LUKE:
If not? You said I didn’t use hemsfree so must give me saman. No choice.
POLICE:
Why don’t use the hemfree?
LUKE:
No, no. Handssss-free.
POLICE:
Ya, why no hemsfree?
LUKE:
Don’t have.
POLICE:
So saman lah.
LUKE:
Ok.
POLICE:
Next time you driving mesti use the hemfree, cannot talking talipon.
LUKE:
Ok I will look for a hemfree.
POLICE:
I give you amaran pertama.
LUKE:
You give what?
POLICE:
I give you first amaran.
LUKE:
Errrmmm, first what?
POLICE:
This first warning. Next time use hemfree.
LUKE:
No it’s han…… Oh ok first warning. Sure. (trying very hard not to burst out laughing)
POLICE:
Careful ya. Jangan buat lagi ya.
LUKE:
Huh? (acting all innocent)
POLICE:
Janga….. tak ape lah, You go. I give warning.
LUKE:
Thanks. I’ll go look for a hemfree. (closes window, smiles, and tries not to laugh).
The police officer walks back to his motorbike. Luke winds up the window. Luke smiles, drives off, and doesn’t look back. Luke’s heart is still beating like crazy.
And this is how a poor police officer failed to get some extra pocket money, and how a smart Eurasian boy used his mixed-blood looks to practice the art of deception.
So much for the ‘Saya Anti Rasuah’ badge on the police officer’s shirt.
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